The Gems of Spring Cleaning

            Like most little girls, I went through a unicorn and horse phase. Most of my childhood was spent covered in mud, adventuring in the bush, but finding a unicorn poster reminded me that I did have a little bit of a girlie side as well. For a while, I had unicorn everything. Unicorn stickers that went in a unicorn sticker book. Unicorn toys. I even had a pillow case with a unicorn head and the words “Johanna’s unicorn” printed above. 
            Sometimes, there can be so much pressure to be logical and level-headed in adulthood, but this unicorn poster is a reminder to make sure I have a little bit of magic and whimsy thrown into my life as well. 

            Amongst the posters, were some of my earlier school projects. A painting of Aladdin from Kindergarten, depicting two people riding on a flying carpet was one such piece. There were also several pieces attempting to depict some sort of ungulate that I can only assume to be horses. I base this purely on the memory of my aforementioned love of unicorns and horses, but really it could have been any hooved creature. It seemed that I was not destined to art greatness. One thing that I did excel at however, was creativity. 
            My favourite artwork from my early years was a little fill in the blank poem and drawing that I did in Grade 1. We could choose any animal to write our poem about. Most of the other kids chose cute, fluffy animals. Puppies, kittens, and I remember tigers as well. So, was my poetry subject an endearing, cuddle-worthy creature? Far from it! Little weirdo that I was, I chose bloodsuckers. 

Over in the meadow by a rock in a lake.
Lived an old mother bloodsucker and her little bloods eight.
Suck said the mother.
We suck said the eight.
So they sucked all day by a rock in a lake.

Johanna de Demeter – Grade 1, May 1996

            Poetic genius! I vividly remember working on this picture and telling my friend, who sat beside me, that those were his legs covered in bloodsuckers. 
             I always was, and still am, pretty unique. I like that word better than strange or different! Sometimes I find myself wanting to be like everyone else. I once exclaimed that life would be so much easier if I could just be normal. As if ‘normal’ is actually something that exists. This piece of artwork reminded me that I was never one to follow the crowd or do what others expected, and that I shouldn’t try to be anyone other than myself. 

            Ah yes. I had to laugh at the various posters and magazine clippings I came across. All sorts of celebrity guys, although Orlando Bloom did feature pretty heavily. Sometimes when you look back, you can smile and think about how far you’ve come from the embarrassment of teenage life. But then I have to wonder if I have really come that far at all! Well, I don’t have posters of famous guys on my bedroom walls, so I guess that’s a start!

            At university, my most favourite events were poster sales. I would walk into the University Centre to find mazes of posters set up through every space possible. There was every type of poster available: movies, TV shows, celebrities, classical artwork, humorous sayings, profound quotes! I was particularly fond of landscape and animal posters. During the very first poster sale of my university life, an unusual poster caught my eye. It wasn’t mountains by the sea, or horses running through a field. It wasn’t even of a cute guy! It was a painting of a woman in a long dress, white gloves, and a large hat. 
          This was not at all the sort of poster that would normally take my notice, but when I looked at it, I realized I wanted to be her. I wanted to be bold and elegant. Then something caught my eye in the bottom corner. There was my name, painted in white. Johanna. What are the chances that I shared the name of the artist that painted this? Well that cinched it for me. I bought the poster, and had it on a wall of every bedroom I lived in during my 6 years away at school. 
           When I pulled this poster out from where it has been stored, it was ripped, crinkled, and folded. At first I was so upset. I even felt some tears pricking my eyes. I told myself it was just a poster, but it was always there through those difficult university years. But one thing I have realized, is that I don’t feel like I want to be the woman in the painting anymore. I feel that I am she, in my own way. I don’t wear fancy hats, long gloves, or glamorous dresses, but I do hold myself with a little more elegance than I use to: the confidence to stand straighter and the boldness to strike a pose.